....So, your engaged....
The anxious wait for the ring is over. Your Mom is stoked, your Dad has begun researching how to sell kidneys on the black market, your friends have finally stopped asking that annoying question, “When is he proposing?!” and you have 950 likes on your Instagram announcement.
The planning has begun. The date is perfect, the venue is chosen, the DJ is hired, the stage is set
Now it’s time to decide on engagement pictures. Do you do them? Do you not? Where do you do them? When do you do them? What do I wear? What do I bring? What the hell is even the point? Okay — let’s talk about it.
Let me start here. You’re in possession of a unique opportunity to have a part of your life documented that no one has had before. This time of your life is beautiful. It’s the time before you set out on this journey together. Forever is a long time. It’s… well it’s forever. Remembering where you came from and who you were when you were young is important. It’s the person you fell in love with, when you’re young you’re often times the most pure version of yourself. It’s before the kids, or maybe the wrong career move, or the move across country. Remembering who you were and who you are deep inside may in fact save you down the road when times are hard. Marriage is hard, having keepsakes and emotional tokens makes it easier.
“Okay that’s a little heavy, Danny. How do you put all that into a 90 minute engagement session?” Well, I won’t say it’s easy. I won’t even say I am always successful. But basically, we tell a story, and every story has a “Who, What, When, Where, and Why.” So, let’s jump in.
Who.
Okay. This may seem like an obvious question. Who comes to the engagement session? Duh, you and your partner. But, really this is about who shouldn’t come to your engagement session and that answer is anyone else. I’d strongly advise against having Mom’s & Dad’s & Aunties lurking in the background. Comments from the peanut gallery kill vibes when people are having honest moments together. It’s hard to really relax and be the person you are with each other when there are other people around. I know, I’m a stranger with a camera, but I’m used to it. I expect it. It’s my field. I’m constantly reassessing my impact on the moment and my impact on your looseness. Aunt Mary isn’t, she’s just fascinated by the show.
I’ll never tell you that those people can’t come though. Some people have different relationships with their parents and feel completely comfortable around them. Honestly, having my son that comfortable around me for something like that that is a lifetime parenting goal of mine. So if that’s the relationship you guys have, kudos. Be honest with yourself though and understand the impact it can have.
Another question I get repeatedly is “can my dog come?” Yes!! Of course, I love dogs. I encourage dog attendance. I love big cuddly good boys & girls who want belly rubs and treats. I’ve been bit a few times, so if you’re dog is a bit protective, just let me know in advance before I lean over and let it give me face kisses. "But Danny, who will hold my dog if my mom can’t come!!??” Well, that is tricky business. Sometimes I can hold it and shoot at the same time. Sometimes we can tie the leash to a nearby tree or fencepost. Sometimes Rover is just part of the whole shoot. Sometimes Mom or a friend can grab the pupperino and take it back home or take it for a walk while we finish up. Easy peasy.
And look, if Mom really wants to be apart of it, don’t tell her I said she can’t, just sort of hint you’re self conscious. I want her to like me :)
What.
So what are we supposed to do during the shoot? Great question. Truthfully, it’s a hard one to answer. It’s extremely dependent on who you are as a couple and I encourage you to follow your nose a little bit and take a look at my portfolio and other engagement photos that I didn’t take. Tell me what you like, what you don’t like and what kinds of photos you could see yourself in. Are you two more intimate and are drawn to the romantic styles? Your pictures may wind up a bit more kissy than others. Are you a bit more reserved? Subtle and refined may be more your speed. Are you guys silly and like to have a good time? Then we’ll laugh and cut up and have a good time. I start with who you are as people and go from there to tailor them to you. Okay, you’re still scared to death. You hate being in front of the camera, but you still want to do them you’re - just really unsure. I can promise you this, of the 500+ weddings I have shot now I can recall only 1 bride that told me she was really comfortable in front of the camera and loved it. Do the math, you’re in the majority I promise. So if you like my portfolio and want your photos to look like that, all I can ask is for is a chance to earn your trust and know that I’ve spent my career trying to make people comfortable in front of the camera.
Where.
So here’s the next logical question. Where do we do these? This is a fun one. I always suggest somewhere that has meaning to you or somewhere that you love to spend time together alone. Could be a walk on the beach, a walk in the city, or your favorite trail for a dog walk. It could be a family farm, a family vacation house, or even your own home you just built. It could be your favorite restaurant, your favorite garden, or your favorite sports teams field. So once you’re in your favorite spots, think of your favorite things to do together. Like to have a glass of wine and have long conversations? Bring a blanket and a bottle. Like to play music together, bring your guitar. Like to ride your bikes on the boardwalk, let’s do it. Paddle boarding in the bay? I’m game. I’m a very active person and love out of the box engagement sessions. Have an idea but you’re not sure how to parse it out? Let’s brainstorm together! This is a collaboration above all things, and I’m here to help bring your ideas to reality!
When.
The timing of these is always a hot topic. We can divide this topic into two parts, timing with regards to your wedding and time of the year.
Sometimes my clients want to use these for Save The Dates. If that’s the case, they typically these would go out about 4-6 months before the wedding if it’s a local wedding, 7-10 months if there is some travel involved for your guests. My typical lead time for returning these to you is 3-4 weeks, however I can always send a few pictures sooner if needed, just let me know you’d like to get them out ASAP and we’ll work something out. So, how far in advance should you book? I only do these on Monday-Thursdays as I keep weekends free for weddings and on the rare weekends off for time with my friends and family like a normal person. Typically weekdays book about 6-8 weeks in advance and in the summer they can book out a bit further. The fall has limited dates because I have so many weddings, so if you want a fall session it’s best to book that as far in advance as you can.
Let’s talk about the pro’s and con’s of each season. The winter is a hit or miss. Snowstorms and winter activities can make these really fun and unique. It can also be really dull, grey, and cold. If you want a winter engagement session, definitely lean into the fact that it’s winter by choosing places and activities and don’t need green grass and leaves to look good. Spring is sometimes my favorite. The weather starts to change, things start to come alive, and the colors can be the most vibrant of the year. But spring brings volatile weather, too. I would plan for it to be a windy day. Don’t spend $200 getting your hair done if it can’t handle a windy day. I like to lean into the wind though. The blown hair look can be fun and give life to an image. I’ve also had months where basically the entire month of May got rescheduled due to rain, so be flexible and if you are doing these for save the dates it’s wise to budget in some time for a reschedule if need be. That being said, a 70 degree day in April or May are my favorite nights of the year to shoot. Summer is probably my favorite, especially on the beach. Even if it’s 95 degrees that day, the ocean breeze in the afternoon cools it off and makes it the best place around. Speaking of 95 degree days, if it’s one of those really nasty ones, be open minded to rescheduling. Unless you like sweat stains on your shirt, it’s just not flattering to anyone. The fall is the best. After 3 months of shooting on the beach I am ready for something different, anything different, anything anywhere that isn’t on the beach. My ADHD brain needs variety to thrive. Crisp air, glowly light, changing leaves, crazy sunsets, it’s just the best time of the year. Period. That being said, it books out far in advance. If you want one of those late October/early November engagement sessions with the leaves changing, best to book that before Labor Day. At the end of the day, every season has it’s pro’s and con’s. If you stick with the themes of being somewhere you love, doing something you love doing together, it’s a can’t miss.
One last note: You may have noticed how many times I have said, “be flexible” or the word “reschedule.” You only get engagement pictures done once and it’s best to wait for a great day especially if the following day it’s going to be 70 and sunny. That being said, you guys are busy. You have careers, school, travel, and a life outside wedding planning. If it’s that date we scheduled or not at all, we’ll shoot rain or shine. I’ve shot on the worst days and we just make it work. We’ll lean into whatever we’re up against and make the best of it. Sometimes a rainy day can be a lot of fun! We’ll get some umbrellas and jump in mud puddles like we’re kids again. Whatever we’re up against, we’re up against together and we’ll make it work.
Why.
So, why should you do engagement photos? Well, that’s really a question that only you can answer. I’m not here to tell you that you should or you shouldn’t do them, only present you with my hard earned thoughts & experiences. But I’ll offer this: You’re only young and in love once. Your relationship will change drastically over the years. Careers and kids change things. It changes people. You’ll grow together or you’ll grow apart and it’s good to remember where you came from. I won't pretend to try to understand you or try to understand what your love is or what it means. I’ll only interpret what you share with me with a camera. That’s really the whole goal of one these. I don’t have standard places or standard shots because I don’t have standard couples. So, if you’ve read this far, it’s because you’re a thoughtful, curious person. So am I.
So...
There’s a lot of information here. There’s a lot of open ended information, too. I joke sometimes that my favorite part of this job is teaching people “How to Wedding”. So if you have questions, please reach out. I’m an open book. I really love guiding you through this and making sure you get the most out of every part of this experience. This is a collaboration above all things and your input and ideas are crucial to me. Sometimes we just need to simplify and the simplest version of all this is “two drinks and a sunset.” Engagements are $600. The session lasts around 90 minutes-2 hours of shoot time. There’s not a limit of outfit changes or locations within reason. Typically you’ll end up with ~150 images, but I do have an option at a reduced cost with reduced amounts of images. Those are dependent on the location, timing, and the couple. Typical lead time is about 3-4 weeks from the shoot date to the delivery of images.